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Post by Avaline Ophilia on Aug 25, 2016 21:49:16 GMT -7
Avaline gave no protest to Tristan’s approach. Her shoulders tensed when he first embraced her, but she quickly relaxed. Even though she did not return the hug, choosing instead to let her hands rest in front of her stomach, it felt nice. The few times he’d done something like this always felt nice.
The question had been turned back on her. She knew what he meant, for once, but she didn’t have any more of an answer than she did before. She spoke quietly and slowly, knowing that she didn’t need to speak loud for him to hear her and, despite them being the sole occupants of the hallway, not wanting for anyone else to hear.
“I… I don’t know. I don’t know what I want, or what to do. Much of my time is already occupied by my work, so I can’t give you the time or attention other high schoolers would be able to. And I’m dangerous to be around, you’re aware? I’m alright with endangering myself, but if someone tried to use you against me, or me against you... Right now, feelings are easily dismissed. Enemies will be less inclined to try to take advantage of us. But…” her fists took balls of her skirt. “Tristan, I’m scared. I’m really, really scared. These people, they’re not above anything, and I don’t want to see you get hurt. Especially because of me. A-and, you know that I kill people, don’t you? It’s easy and I’m not afraid to do so, and if I needed to, I would not hesitate to kill every person in that classroom behind us. That makes me a terrible person, doesn't it? I’m unsure why you would even want to become my friend, let alone remain so, or anything else. But…”
But she was lonely. It felt strange to admit, and still felt like maybe she was incorrect in doing so. She hadn’t thought she would need anyone else. She didn’t need friends. They’d be nice, she had thought, but ultimately unnecessary at best and points of weakness at worst. People, in general, were seen by their use. Some were useful, some were not. But then she had begun to spend more time with him. He had helped her more than she could rightfully express without any obligation to do so, on more than one occasion.
The last person before Tristan to hug her was her doctor, and she knew that had only been out of obligation for who she saw as a small girl who lived alone. The last person to comfort her was the same, for the same reason. Tristan was the person to do both in a long while, and the last for even longer to do so gratuitously. It made her feel strange. In a good way; like she’d accomplished something great in meeting him, and like would be missing something should he ever go away.
It was a weird thought; she would be sad if Tristan ever went away. Not miffed, like if she lost an informant, or upset because of the loss of an ally, or even troubled because she’d lost someone extraordinarily difficult to replace like her doctor, but outright sad. Because something important to her would’ve vanished. It was a terrifying thought, and was why she feared what other supers might do. And why she would fight them with everything she had should they try.
Avaline felt her eyes begin to water and a dryness in her throat. A crack came into her voice. “But I like this. I like you.” She pressed her head into his shirt. “Why are you so nice? All I’ve ever done is gotten you into danger and yet you’re still here, you’re still kind to me when everyone else is trying to take advantage of me or hurt me for reasons I still can’t figure out, and I’m distant and awkward and I tend to hurt people because I didn’t realize there was something I was supposed to do or say. And, I can’t tell if I ‘love’ you or not. I really, really like you. But it’s not because of a feeling in my chest or that I can’t stop thinking about you, or the other signs that are supposed to tell you when you’re in love. I enjoy your company, and I would enjoy spending more time with you if I could. I like that you’re someone I can depend on without asking for anything in return. I think I like our present relationship. I think I would like more of our present relationship, but I don’t know what that means. Is this even okay as friends? Girls and boys aren’t even supposed to hold hands unless they’re together. A-and I don’t know what you want, or if I’ll be what that is.”
Again she trailed off. She was speaking aloud all that was going through her mind, but every word felt like a tooth she had to pull out, even if they all came tumbling out anyways. Silence passed before she spoke again, enough so that when she did, it came out slowly.
“But, I think, I don’t want this to go away.”
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Post by Tristan Carter on Aug 25, 2016 23:13:58 GMT -7
Tristan found that hugging Avaline was somehow comforting, despite the rest of the circumstances surrounding it. His heart was slowing to a near normal rate, his breathing was relaxed, and it just made him feel better in general. When she first tensed up, this wasn't the case, but he was glad that it quickly changed.
He waited until he was sure she was done before saying anything. When she was finished, he gave her a gentle squeeze and sighed. He felt terrible that he had caused her to feel so confused. He should've kept his feelings to himself, there wouldn't have been any issues if he had. And it wasn't like she was being entirely clear on what it was that she wanted, as far as he was concerned. Under normal circumstances, she would've answered a question like that with confidence, admittedly strange wording, but an exact answer. Instead, she was nervous, scared, and obviously unsure of many things at that moment.
"Avaline," he said finally. "Don't worry, okay? I understand your goals, I understand the dangers of being around you, I understand that you kill. I'm not ever going to ask you to spend every second of every day with me; you've got far more important things to be worried about. I'm a super; not only could it not possibly be any more dangerous for me than by simply existing, but I'm capable of keeping myself alive, at the very least. And, admittedly, while the killing isn't my favorite thing about you, it's not all that you are. That being said, it's not like I'm ever going to ask that you stop it. I don't have that power, and I understand that sometimes it's needed for your goals." He looked down at her and smiled. "You aren't a terrible person. A terrible person wouldn't have even thought to ask."
He took a few moments to breathe and consider his next words carefully. "I guess one way of looking at it is that I'm nice because I'm the same way. I know how it feels to be the awkward, distant person, and I don't want you to feel that way. Also, I kinda like that about you. It's endearing. And I can't say if I 'love' you either. I feel very much the same way, Avaline, it's just that this also feels... right to me, I guess would be the best way to put it." He stopped a moment and thought again.
"I don't suppose this isn't alright for friends. It's not the first time it's happened, after all, and you didn't question it then, did you? But I feel like being worried about what I want is a silly concern, considering how I'm all but saying that I want you."
He smiled slightly as he said that, and he looked down the empty hallway. His heart picked up again slightly, but otherwise he managed to keep himself together. He hugged her slightly tighter before speaking again.
"It won't be going away anytime soon, okay? So how about we just worry about what we're going to do next?"
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Post by Avaline Ophilia on Aug 27, 2016 18:33:12 GMT -7
Avaline felt a smile drifting back onto her features. There was the confidence he’d said he’d left at home. Tristan’s hug and ever kind and reasonable words were the only things that didn’t feel like they’d just been sent through the dryer. Her mind felt like what happened when she tried to process the information her powers gave her with the thinking part of her consciousness; a swarm of half intelligible thoughts that vanished in place of other, newer thoughts before any useful conclusions could be drawn, but instead of data, it was the pain in her stomach and the catch in her throat, and what she was going to do about this issue that had been dropped on her without so much as a warning but she found herself somehow unable to dismiss. It should be a clear choice; and easy ‘no’. She had other things to worry about. She should be building her networks, not relationships with Tristan. It was simple.
But a different part of her really, really wanted this. Not like when she wanted an important contract; this wasn’t working towards any goal. It wasn’t even something she figured would be useful later. And it wasn’t like they couldn’t remain friends, but that didn’t feel quite right. Why, she couldn’t quite say, but the idea was being presented to her as though it was a fact, and she could come up with few reasons to say it wasn’t so. All of those had already been countered by Tristan. The only mark remaining mark was time, and a few fears she couldn’t place as grounded or not. Yet clear gains towards her goals were minimal, and all the ones her brain were attempting to rationalize this with were stretches, she knew. It was something she just wanted. It should be easily disregarded as not worth the investment and the consequences that may come with a later failure.
She was running in these circles of ‘it shouldn’t be worth it, but somehow it is’, and no matter how many times she spun it, it always came back to the same answer.
Avaline let out a long breath and closed her eyes. “You are asking me if I wish to enter a relationship with you, correct?” She hesitated for no conscious reason. She already knew what she was going to say, so she was unsure as to why she stopped herself from just stating it. It took her several moments of silence before she could get her voice to work again, during which, slowly, her fists released her skirt and she raised her arms. Avaline lightly returned his hug, even if it was more akin to a hesitant hand on the shoulder than an actual hug. “Very well, Tristan. Your feelings of this ‘being right’ are mutual. My answer is yes.”
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Post by Tristan Carter on Aug 27, 2016 20:29:01 GMT -7
Tristan looked down at Avaline, mouth clamped shut and eyes wide. He couldn't believe what she just said. It was surreal, hearing her answer. He instinctively loosened his hold on her as a smile spread across his face. He felt her hug and, faint as it was, he thought it was wonderful. He sat like that for a moment, letting it sink in, before he suddenly tightened his grip on her. "Thank you," he said quietly and happily. He relaxed his hold slightly before muttering an apology, but he was still hugging her considerably tighter than before.
He felt his smile falter for a moment as a thought came to him. "S-So, uh," he started with a nervous chuckle. "I've, um, never been in a romantic relationship before." His blush of shame started rising again as he thought about it. He never had the chance to make a connection way he had with Avaline before. He sighed as he looked past her again, smile slowly fading. "I don't have any idea of what to do now."
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Post by Avaline Ophilia on Aug 27, 2016 22:38:34 GMT -7
Avaline felt squished. He had not squeezed her like that before, nor had anyone else. It was like when she shook hands with clients that vastly underestimated their strength, and overestimated hers. But despite the surprise and even mild pain, she found she did not care. It made her smile that he seemed to be as happy as she felt.
She did poke his side, however, to alert him to her status. “You are making it difficult to breathe.” she gasped.
The issue he stated was bothering her as well. There was a good amount of relief in resolving the previous one, but it seemed to her like that was supposed to be it. The story was over, they could move on with their lives. Now that she was here, she was realizing that was very much not the case.
Her face was beat red and she, too, found unfounded interest in something elsewhere in the hall. “Neither have I.” She said formally. “The proper thing to do would be to go back to class, but I do not wish to do so. None of my classes, save for my last, are necessary, so I am considering calling my driver and going elsewhere for lunch and some time to work on my research, and returning later when I must. But I don’t suppose that’s what you mean.”
That was the easy part. She paused, swallowed, and tried her best to stop the shyness that was coming into her voice in talking about their relationship. She succeeded only to a mild degree. “I am unsure of ‘what to do next’ in a relationship. I have not researched it.” She said. “I suppose most people would alert others to their change in status, but as I said before, I fear if too many people find out it will be taken as and turned into a weak point for both of us. I’m not suggesting we hide it, and it’s inevitable that people will find out, but I don’t think we should go out of our way to let people know. I do have… one person would like to tell, however.” Her voice faded from the whisper it had descended into. She let her arms drop from his sides. “I cannot think of any other suggestions presently. My mind feels hazy and I think I need to sleep.”
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Post by Tristan Carter on Aug 28, 2016 0:54:44 GMT -7
Tristan felt the poke in his side and immediately let up on his grip, quickly firing off multiple apologies in succession in a manner that suggested he felt bad for far more than he probably should. As for what Avaline was saying, he listened patiently before giving an answer. This was mostly because he was still trying to convince himself that this was, in fact, real. However, she would never need to know that.
"Well," he said with a practiced calmness after she quietened down, "all things considered, I suggest you go ahead and go. Seeing as of how the second we go back into that room I'll likely turn into a stuttering idiot again, it's not like my conversational skills are worth sticking around over. You've got better things to do, and we can always talk later."
He put a few extra seconds into considering the rest of what she said. Besides thinking that it was adorable, little else that was relevant came to mind. "I agree. I doubt we could really hide this convincingly, and it might actually make it more obvious. And making our affairs largely public isn't ideal, either. That said, if you've got someone that you need to talk to about all this, go right ahead. I personally can't think of anyone that it'd do me any good to talk about this with, but I've got a few allies who I can easily ask to largely keep from interfering with you, now that I think about it."
He paused and frowned for a moment, brow furrowed, before he continued again, this time with a confused tone. "Also, I think it might be best if I meet the person you're gonna talk to about us. Eventually. That's something we can talk about later, yeah?"
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Post by Avaline Ophilia on Aug 29, 2016 12:12:34 GMT -7
The mannerisms of ‘Tristan’ were certainly different than what she had come to expect of him. Considering the rapid apologies and his apparent nervousness, he seemed closer to, as he put it, a ‘stuttering idiot’ than what she was used to. It was a strange phenomenon, to be sure. She wondered if this was an act, of sorts, to help keep his identities from being connected. Some supers did that. She prefered to never approach the same person with both her civilian face and her super’s name; it kept things simpler and chances of being found out minimal. Perhaps she should suggest this to him sometime.
She nodded to his agreeance, trying to put her mind back onto the topics business as a sidetrack to the jittering in her hands. “That would be appreciated.” She stated. Avaline made a mental note to meet Trisan’s allies at some point; she was realizing she knew very little about the non-keeper supers he had affiliations with, and it would be good to know. At the very least, it would be useful to know who he may not appreciate her attacking and who she may be able to use her connection with him to avoid conflict with.
The same could be said of him. “Yes, I will introduce you to him sometime. I would like for you to meet all of my allies at some point. It would be… unfortunate if you were attacked by any of them unknowingly.” Avaline nodded to herself. “I will depart now, then. You can tell the teacher I was not feeling well and will be returning home for lunch, should he ask.”
She waited for him to release her from his hug.
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Post by Tristan Carter on Aug 29, 2016 22:52:29 GMT -7
Tristan nodded in agreement. It would be nice for them to try and help the other catch a break from the various supers who would otherwise try to be nuisances. He had seen that he wouldn't be able to count on his new relationship to keep the Keepers out of his hair, but he was curious as to who all else she might have allied herself with.
"I look forward to it," he said cheerily, "although I'm afraid I can't make any promises about how my group will respond. They're admittedly pretty strange, and pretty varied in multiple ways. Most of them are pretty reasonable, though, so I can probably convince them to be cooperative." The Bulwarks might not exactly jump for joy at the thought of him being allied with Avaline, but they'd probably come around. And if they did, it seemed likely the others probably would too.
He dropped his arms and put his hands in his pockets. "I'll see you later, then," he said with a nervous smile as he took a backwards step to give her some space. He looked forward to seeing her again, and hopefully by then he'll have done some of his own research on what would be the next general steps to take would be. If he could find the time, he had no doubts that it would make things simpler on Avaline if she wasn't the only one looking into it. Besides, he was the one who had caused the situation in the first place. It wouldn't be right to put the burden on her.
"Thank you, again," he sighed happily for a goodbye as he turned to head back to class. He might not have had any clue what he was doing, but he was very certain of one thing as he walked back in: things had just become very exciting
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