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Post by Kasty Doherty on Aug 28, 2016 23:16:57 GMT -7
One would think that the day after one was supposed to die would be one of exuberance and newfound appreciation for life. While Kasty was very much happy to not be dead, there were a couple of things keeping him from skipping happily through the streets, greeting strangers and marveling at butterflies. Those would be the hole in his gut, the fracture in his neck, and the crushing thoughts of having no idea what to do next. He’d already slept for most of the day, and now, as hard as he may try, his body was refusing to spend anymore time comatose. He’d eaten something healthy (then several things that were not healthy), taken more pain meds, and played smash bros on his game pad until the tingling in his arms got the better of him. For the next hour, he’d been watching a popular cartoon on the wii u’s netflix, but every time he found himself finally relaxing into the show, thoughts from the much less colorful reality yanked him back out and before he knew it the episode was over and he hadn’t seen hardly any of it. Life wasn’t going to leave him alone today just because he wanted to take a bit of a break from it. He wanted to process everything in the sense that he didn’t want to at all, and doing so alone in his room sounded about as appealing as pulling teeth. Even if trying to ignore it felt about the same. What he wanted was someone to talk to about all this who was a little less… Aurora. So, on a whim, he picked up his phone. He sent Grant a text. “Hey, could you come over?” And then immediately regretted it. Talking to someone, especially someone like Grant, meant having to explain everything that had happened, and he wasn’t so sure how that was going to go over. Most of it he wanted to talk about in an odd way, but the elephant that’d taken residence in his bedroom corner was that he hadn’t exactly told anyone he was going to die yesterday. He hadn’t alerted anyone to it, or even bothered to say goodbye. The only person he’d asked for help was Sin Eater. He… wasn’t looking forward to the possible and not unfounded reactions to that. Kasty dropped his phone onto his bedside table and flopped back on his bed, feeling a mix of dread and anticipation. He opened another bag of chips. Grant Miller
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Post by Grant Miller on Aug 30, 2016 7:05:45 GMT -7
Grant was just finishing up his daily morning workout routine when he suddenly got a text from Kasty. Some anxiety was lifted off Grant's shoulders, as this was the first time he had ever made contact with Kasty following his mysterious absence from the meeting. Grant almost immediately texted a message back, fumbling a bit with the device he wasn't quite used to, given how he didn't really use it too much. "Sure". A short and simple answer. After making a quick stop home to wash up and get a change of clothes, Grant was out once again, this time on his way to the boarding house.
Opening the door, Grant was greeted with the familiar sight of Nora, who helpfully pointed out Kasty's room to group. Unbeknownst to Grant, Nora lingered for a bit longer than usual while he made his way up the steps. Grant opened the door to Kasty's room, and was quite shocked to see the state that Kasty was in. He looked awful. Sure, injuries were a possibility when someone did what Kasty did, but Grant had never seen him like this before. Not knowing what to say, he simply waved at Kasty. What the hell happened?
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Post by Kasty Doherty on Aug 31, 2016 1:42:13 GMT -7
Kasty nearly jumped to his feet when he heard the door open. Nerves were attempting to get the best of him, stopped only over the counter pain killers that were doing him about as much good as wishing his injuries away. He waved Grant in and to take a seat… somewhere. His room wasn’t exactly large, but he did have a chair at his desk and room on his bed. And the floor, but most people seemed to opt for anything besides that.
“Thanks for coming.” He greeted cheerfully, but the hesitancy in his voice was obvious. “So, uh,” He rubbed the back of his head and found eyecontact to be hard. “I got into a large battle last night, and, ah-” explaining it was going to entail a lot of time and a lot of stumbling over his own words.
He pulled a large folder from underneath his bedside table and dug through the sketches of maps, old newspaper clippings, and random notes about random things until he found what he was looking for. He drew out a couple photocopied sheets of paper that, together, made the original letter he’d received with the sword.
“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now.” He said, holding the few pages out to Grant. “When I first got my sword, this appeared with it. And, um,” He was wincing and his hand not holding the papers was fidgeting. “I was supposed to die yesterday. But I didn’t, and I still don’t know why, and...” he stopped himself and sighed. If he wanted to sort through this, he needed to not try to dump it all at once.
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Post by Grant Miller on Sept 2, 2016 4:05:27 GMT -7
There was something a little off about Kasty today. Not just the fact that he looked like he had been through hell, but his general behavior as well. Even his current state was something that just seemed strange to Grant. This was someone who had been tossed head first at a van and been in crash within the span of less than a minute, yet came out looking no worse for wear. Hell, they fought a dragon, yet Kasty didn't look as bad as he did now. What could have done this to him? Grant was curious to know, but felt that pushing it would intrude. Kasty called it a 'large battle', but he didn't explain it too well, drawing more suspicion than it deterred.
What confused Grant even further was what Kasty said and did afterwards. Perhaps he just wasn't in a state to explain things, but nothing he said made much sense. All that Grant could really make out was that the papers he held apparently came with the sword. And that he was 'supposed to die yesterday'. Grant was confused for a moment before remembering what he said in the aftermath of the attack. Did he predict something happening yesterday? What did he mean that he was 'supposed to die'? Reading the papers didn't help much, with their coherency broken up further by Grant's unfocused skimming. After a futile attempt at deducing things, Grant just expressed his confusion.
"...What?"
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Post by Kasty Doherty on Sept 5, 2016 17:19:14 GMT -7
Grant’s apparent confusion, by no fault of Grant, did little to Kasty gather his thoughts or better explain them. He pressed his fingertips together and looked off to the left for no reason other than he needed something else to look at.
“So,” he wasn’t quite sure where to start, so he just picked a spot and went from there. “My sword, it kills its wielders. It gets us into a battle we can’t win and helps us lose and it gives us a vision of our deaths the night before it happens. I was supposed to have about a year before the sword killed me, and that year came yesterday. I,” he sighed. “I got into a fight with Gilgamesh and lost. I should’ve died, I mean, look at what happened, but I didn’t, and I don’t know why and I don’t know what this all means or what I’m supposed to do next, or if the sword’s going to try again, or if it wants me alive for whatever twisted reason, and now that I’m here and, well, not dead. I don’t know what I should do next with time I feel like I shouldn't even have, and I’m starting to think that maybe I should figure out what I’m going to do with my life but I don’t know what that is because I’ve never really thought about it before, and thanks for coming over on such short notice, I really appreciate it.”
He spoke progressively faster as he went on, not managing to make eye contact until the end. He tried to put on a smile, but all he got out of it was a grimace attempting to masquerade as a smile to poor effect. He gave up trying and sighed.
“Grant, we’re all supposed to die young, aren’t we? Us supers. What are you,” he paused to try to find the right words, but nothing he came up with sounded good in his head, let alone outloud. “I guess, doing about that? If you don’t mind me asking. I’m… trying to figure stuff out.”
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Post by Grant Miller on Sept 25, 2016 7:38:34 GMT -7
After Grant's confusion was made even more obvious, Kasty thankfully slowed down to make sure all the necessary information was processed. When Grant heard Gilgamesh's name, his heart almost skipped a beat. Did Kasty try to confront him alone? Grant silently cursed himself for not being able to stop him when he could. Not only was his father at risk, but now his best friend could have gotten himself killed. Though going by how Kasty was recounting things, perhaps he did.
Grant had to take a moment to register all that. Maybe Kasty was just being a bit delirious, which was plausible when considering the state he was in. But then he remembered their conversation in the ruins of the devastated suburbs. In hindsight, their conversation was borderline prophetic, Grant just didn't understand what he meant until this very moment. The world seemed to spin and he could feel some kind of awful wave come over him. He felt like a failure. At a lot of things, but most of all, being a hero.
He couldn't really come up with an answer to Kasty's question, mostly due to the swirl of emotions, but it was doubtful he would have been able to answer it in any other situation. Grant never thought about his own mortality, just doing what he thought was right. But now things were suddenly in a whole different perspective, and yet he still didn't know how to answer.
"I...I never thought about it"
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Post by Kasty Doherty on Sept 26, 2016 21:49:30 GMT -7
Kasty nodded. It wasn’t really a pleasant thing to think about, and he probably wouldn’t have if he hadn’t had it shoved in his face. Thinking back to what he was like when he first got the sword, that would’ve been the last thing on his mind - that if he wasn’t careful, he could end up dead. Heck, there had been several times in not too recent memory where he’d been reckless because he hadn’t gotten a death vision the night before, so therefore the stupid thing he was about to do wouldn’t possibly kill him.
His smile was an ironic one. “Man, I’ve been an idiot.” He sighed. “You know, when I first got my powers, I thought this was great. Like it was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Before that, I was just this random kid with average grades and no distinguishing features, who would get an office job or maybe work at a library because I’m good with stuff like that. With the sword, suddenly I could be more than that, right? I was someone of actual note. Even if was going to die in a year, it was going to be one hell of a year. Better than it would’ve been as some community college student with a job at Starbucks. Those first few months, and that first dragon fight, I’d never had more fun in my life.”
Kasty exhaled and rubbed his forehead. “Damn, I think I was just oblivious to a lot of it back then. This work, being a hero, it’s a lot harder than you would think, isn’t it? It’s not the fun romp for justice that brings you quiet happiness because you know you did good for someone. Half the time I’m wondering if I even did the right thing, and damn, the regret if I didn’t. Or if I fail, or if I have to hurt someone I don’t want to in order to do what I think is right. And I’m doing this for what, so the person I stop can just try it again next week? This is what I’m risking my life for; thanklessly delaying what more often than not feels like is inevitable. Being a hero actually kinda sucks.”
An edge of bitterness had come into his voice, and his smile had fallen. After a moment’s pause, his tone became more tired than anything else. “But, I don’t know, I’m not sure if I even care. About how I’m living fast, probably going to die young, I mean. I hate that that’s how it is, and that it’s forced on us randomly, and how it’s kinda like either we work as supers or we try to pretend like our powers don’t exist or are a dirty secret we can’t tell anyone or else it’ll ruin us. But, it’s still important to me. Fighting for people, you know? Someone has to, and I can, and it’s not like I’ve got anything better to do. Even if it’s tried to kill me, the sword,” he paused, his gaze drifting off to the side. “I guess, it still makes me someone important.”
He rested his palms on his kneecaps. It was like he told Aurora; even if he didn’t like it, he wasn’t sure he would like going back to being a normal person either. A confusing mess, that’s what it was.
He looked back at Grant. “Sorry for ranting to you. You’re one of my few friends, and I find you’re really easy to talk to.” He said, rubbing the back of his head. After a moment of thought, he continued, “Are you alright? Working as a hero, I mean?”
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Post by Grant Miller on Oct 15, 2016 0:42:38 GMT -7
Kasty's first experiences with his powers could be said to have been the complete opposite of Grant's own. When his ability 'triggered', the only thing he felt was fear and pain. Years were spent, perhaps wasted, fearing what could happen if he ever lost control or if someone knew. Never get close to anyone; they might find out. Never get angry: someone could get hurt. It was always like that, Grant didn't even use his powers since that night. At least until the Bulwarks contacted him. They didn't say that they were the Bulwarks, but Grant figured it out. They gave him a costume and a choice, and he chose what he thought was best. The day he fought that dragon was quite possibly the greatest day of his life. Maybe he didn't need to be afraid anymore, maybe he could have used what he could do for a better tomorrow.
But all of those dreams were cast in doubt. Grant wasn't sure about...anything, really. He was lost. And the reality of the situation was only just making itself known, its ugly presence staining the atmosphere. Forget dreams of making peace, hell, forget dreams of making it to the Olympics. In all likelihood, Grant was going to die young and violently. There was no deluding himself, that was the reality. But that wasn't a reason to stop, to throw in the towel and give up. So what if he was going to die? He would go down on his own terms, fighting for what he believed in. But he needed to be stronger, more focused on what needed to be done.
Grant simply turned to Kasty and gave a light smile. "All good"
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Post by Kasty Doherty on Oct 18, 2016 18:13:14 GMT -7
Kasty returned Grant’s grin. The small reassurance, acceptance of his apology and rant, and affirmation that his friend was alright went a long way to set him at ease, even if something about the last sat with him as off. What, he couldn’t place - and he half believed he was just seeing something that wasn’t there - but something didn’t ring as true. Not to call Grant a liar, but out of concern for him. Kasty knew - he was feeling it right now - being a hero, doing what they did, could leave one in a state that was very much not good.
Kasty set that thought aside. If there was something important Grant wanted to talk about, he would, and he would listen. If there wasn’t, or he didn’t want to, Kasty would respect that.
He gave Grant’s response a nod. “I’m glad. And thanks again for listening. Talking about it helps.” He said, with relief thick in his voice. “And also, thanks for not getting upset.” His gaze had drifted down to his fidgeting hands. This had been significantly less painful than he had prepared himself for. Rather than a admittal to a friend he wished he didn’t have to make, it was nice to have a means of laying things out for himself.
“Would you like to watch a show or play cards or something?” He asked, looking back up at Grant. “I feel kinda bad inviting you over just to talk your ear off.”
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Post by Grant Miller on Oct 19, 2016 7:45:17 GMT -7
Giving the opportunity for Kasty to vent out his frustration was almost therapeutic. Despite his own conflict, Grant was glad that he could help out his friend, even when doing so required something as simple as listening. For a moment, Grant remembered the reason why he wanted to be a hero. It all seemed almost childish at this point. But sometimes childish things were needed, like playing some silly game or watching television with your friends. Grant relaxed and weighed the options before he decided to leave it to Kasty. "Your choice"
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