Afterlife [Aurora]
Oct 1, 2016 18:54:00 GMT -7
Post by Aurora Disicio on Oct 1, 2016 18:54:00 GMT -7
"Because you--"
The irritation from his previous question hadn't faded, and that much was obvious from her voice, but it wasn't fair. Aurora wasn't made at him, she was mad at the society that made someone like him; that made someone that could actually ask a question like that and be entirely genuine about it. This happened frequently, but a lot of the time she didn't care. She believed there was a certain power to speaking with the raw emotion behind her voice and her words, but this was one of those circumstances where that wasn't the case. He already realized his mistake and he was half dead so overloading his senses was counterproductive. So rather than finish that thought as she was, she stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. Her voice was calm now, though there was still a slight edge to it.
"Because you weren't living a simple life, you were living a listless life. You were saying that you felt like you were doing busywork, I don't see how that could get more clear. Living a simple life with small goals still requires you to know what those goals are and to have a degree of self-awareness, neither of which you have yet. You seem to have realized that already, so I won't go into too much detail, but living a simple life is a conscious choice. It looked more like you said you wanted to live a simple life so you could avoid thinking about those things and just go about your day to day life without having to think too hard while still feeling good about yourself.
"Further, the way you talk about yourself is often...disturbing. I suspect you're the type that thinks you're just completely ordinary, boring, unremarkable, unimportant, though not necessarily in a way that suggest a dangerously low amount of self esteem at least. It's not surprising. If you follow the approved path through life, go to school, eventually get a job, get married, have kids, then you won't be using a lot of different skills. I doubt most people find where they truly belong because of this, and thus never find what makes them different, interesting, remarkable, and important. That's exactly why people need to do some soul searching to find where they belong. Pursuing goals that you think are important, but you feel nothing for, is self destructive. I'd say it's almost as bad as not having any goals at all. They come out of this system that claims you have to do certain things in order to be worthwhile or in order to succeed. It's the exact system I've been talking about, the one I want to destroy.
"But you're taking the first steps to get away from that now. It'll be difficult, and annoying because you shouldn't just dismiss the things that annoy you as things you can't change or things that just aren't worth the effort anymore. It'll be difficult because you have to ask yourself difficult questions without looking away or dismissing them as unimportant," she looked back for a moment. "Don't give up. You can do it."
His last question made a knot form in her stomach again. Aurora could relate to having to ask difficult questions now. She thought she could in the past too, but nothing she's had to think about quite compared to deciding what should be done with Pandaemonium. It wasn't something she was prepared to talk about right now, and was one of the few topics that would turn her into a rambling idiot who couldn't even use words properly when she tried to force it. It was best left alone for now.
The irritation from his previous question hadn't faded, and that much was obvious from her voice, but it wasn't fair. Aurora wasn't made at him, she was mad at the society that made someone like him; that made someone that could actually ask a question like that and be entirely genuine about it. This happened frequently, but a lot of the time she didn't care. She believed there was a certain power to speaking with the raw emotion behind her voice and her words, but this was one of those circumstances where that wasn't the case. He already realized his mistake and he was half dead so overloading his senses was counterproductive. So rather than finish that thought as she was, she stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. Her voice was calm now, though there was still a slight edge to it.
"Because you weren't living a simple life, you were living a listless life. You were saying that you felt like you were doing busywork, I don't see how that could get more clear. Living a simple life with small goals still requires you to know what those goals are and to have a degree of self-awareness, neither of which you have yet. You seem to have realized that already, so I won't go into too much detail, but living a simple life is a conscious choice. It looked more like you said you wanted to live a simple life so you could avoid thinking about those things and just go about your day to day life without having to think too hard while still feeling good about yourself.
"Further, the way you talk about yourself is often...disturbing. I suspect you're the type that thinks you're just completely ordinary, boring, unremarkable, unimportant, though not necessarily in a way that suggest a dangerously low amount of self esteem at least. It's not surprising. If you follow the approved path through life, go to school, eventually get a job, get married, have kids, then you won't be using a lot of different skills. I doubt most people find where they truly belong because of this, and thus never find what makes them different, interesting, remarkable, and important. That's exactly why people need to do some soul searching to find where they belong. Pursuing goals that you think are important, but you feel nothing for, is self destructive. I'd say it's almost as bad as not having any goals at all. They come out of this system that claims you have to do certain things in order to be worthwhile or in order to succeed. It's the exact system I've been talking about, the one I want to destroy.
"But you're taking the first steps to get away from that now. It'll be difficult, and annoying because you shouldn't just dismiss the things that annoy you as things you can't change or things that just aren't worth the effort anymore. It'll be difficult because you have to ask yourself difficult questions without looking away or dismissing them as unimportant," she looked back for a moment. "Don't give up. You can do it."
His last question made a knot form in her stomach again. Aurora could relate to having to ask difficult questions now. She thought she could in the past too, but nothing she's had to think about quite compared to deciding what should be done with Pandaemonium. It wasn't something she was prepared to talk about right now, and was one of the few topics that would turn her into a rambling idiot who couldn't even use words properly when she tried to force it. It was best left alone for now.
