Calm Down [Solomon]
Dec 13, 2016 5:05:16 GMT -7
Post by Solomon on Dec 13, 2016 5:05:16 GMT -7
Normally he tried not to let the fact that Seraphim could know absolutely everything about him bother him; he wasn’t trying to persuade her to anything, and lacked any other reason to care, especially since she could easily know the same of everyone else. Now, though, he’d be lying if he didn’t say it was a little unsettling to have everything he kept to himself laid out as though he were shouting his mind to the world. He was accustomed to keeping a good many things to himself, and so to himself that those who prided themselves on reading others couldn’t tell. It was simply a new experience, he told himself, and the feeling would pass soon enough. He was just going to have to get used to it. He would, one way or another.
The next spell finished and was cast, and the shattered bone in his arm began to meld back into something useable. It was only a temporary fix, like sticking legos together in place of using glue, but it was the best he could get in a reasonable time frame and it would serve well enough. The muscles were still torn, as were the nerves, but the later would be quick enough to solve now. He turned to a new page and began again.
No, he couldn’t say he didn’t care about other people. He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t. The relative part was what was hard; he understood the concept, but it was still a confusing heap of chaotic and conflicting ideas, what he should and shouldn’t care about, and he couldn’t even pretend like he knew the answers. He would figure it out, though. He had the time.
Today was the first time this had happened since he’d decided he’d try to stop it from happening, began to try to care about the well being of civilians, and stop thinking about the killing of another super as a positive. He hadn’t any preparation of how to handle it - but perhaps Seraphim was right, and the best way to do so was as he had before; simply take it as something that happened, that had its uses and had its downsides. Some things, like his overall goals, were best left changed, but others were best left the same. It hadn’t mattered much to him when he’d killed the previous supers - no more than as an opportunity to write a new powerful spell - and it would be for the best if he didn’t let today’s death bother him either. It was certainly easier than thinking about it otherwise. Much like it was easier to think of the people he took from as necessary for the good of everyone, rather than as grandparents who would be leaving their children early, or innocent people who would see decades less of their singular lives depending on what they asked for, or the rare person he drained completely as someone who might have others depending on them or a life still to live and enjoy. It was okay to let that go. It saved him time and mental energy to be spent on more useful things.
Helping to lessen the chances of it happening, for one. It was inevitable, it would happen again, but that was just reason to figure out and place better fail-safes and practice bringing himself down from higher points in the bloodlust. It wouldn’t do if he was afraid to fight to his fullest in important battles. He couldn’t afford to hesitate in or to enter battle because he might lose control. He’d already put some consideration into what he would do, should this happen, and had a fairly good idea what to make his new spell into. When he fought under the influence of his power, he did so with the intent to kill; it would be useful if those trying to stop him could do the same, among the numerous other benefits coming back upon being killed offered.
With the last spell, Solomon clapped his book shut and carefully lifted and tested his arm. The joins all bent as they should, as did the hand. Albeit slowly and with some significant stiffness, but it worked. He could call that good enough.
Solomon stood. Blood loss made him a little uneasy getting to and staying on his feet; he tried to get up a little to quickly, as the sway in his step and a rush of black in his vision alerted him, but he was vertical and walking so that too was good enough.
Once he had his bearings, he turned to Seraphim, wearing a genuine smile. “Thanks.” He sighed. “And this time I mean it. It helps to hear you say that.” Her last reassurance especially.
He honestly wanted to use his powers as little as possible now, but as much as he would prefer not to teleport back to the FOB, he prefered less to travel by land. He was going to have to use his powers anyway. Little to do but just suck it up and do it.
“If you don’t have any other plans, I can get us back.” He offered.
The next spell finished and was cast, and the shattered bone in his arm began to meld back into something useable. It was only a temporary fix, like sticking legos together in place of using glue, but it was the best he could get in a reasonable time frame and it would serve well enough. The muscles were still torn, as were the nerves, but the later would be quick enough to solve now. He turned to a new page and began again.
No, he couldn’t say he didn’t care about other people. He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t. The relative part was what was hard; he understood the concept, but it was still a confusing heap of chaotic and conflicting ideas, what he should and shouldn’t care about, and he couldn’t even pretend like he knew the answers. He would figure it out, though. He had the time.
Today was the first time this had happened since he’d decided he’d try to stop it from happening, began to try to care about the well being of civilians, and stop thinking about the killing of another super as a positive. He hadn’t any preparation of how to handle it - but perhaps Seraphim was right, and the best way to do so was as he had before; simply take it as something that happened, that had its uses and had its downsides. Some things, like his overall goals, were best left changed, but others were best left the same. It hadn’t mattered much to him when he’d killed the previous supers - no more than as an opportunity to write a new powerful spell - and it would be for the best if he didn’t let today’s death bother him either. It was certainly easier than thinking about it otherwise. Much like it was easier to think of the people he took from as necessary for the good of everyone, rather than as grandparents who would be leaving their children early, or innocent people who would see decades less of their singular lives depending on what they asked for, or the rare person he drained completely as someone who might have others depending on them or a life still to live and enjoy. It was okay to let that go. It saved him time and mental energy to be spent on more useful things.
Helping to lessen the chances of it happening, for one. It was inevitable, it would happen again, but that was just reason to figure out and place better fail-safes and practice bringing himself down from higher points in the bloodlust. It wouldn’t do if he was afraid to fight to his fullest in important battles. He couldn’t afford to hesitate in or to enter battle because he might lose control. He’d already put some consideration into what he would do, should this happen, and had a fairly good idea what to make his new spell into. When he fought under the influence of his power, he did so with the intent to kill; it would be useful if those trying to stop him could do the same, among the numerous other benefits coming back upon being killed offered.
With the last spell, Solomon clapped his book shut and carefully lifted and tested his arm. The joins all bent as they should, as did the hand. Albeit slowly and with some significant stiffness, but it worked. He could call that good enough.
Solomon stood. Blood loss made him a little uneasy getting to and staying on his feet; he tried to get up a little to quickly, as the sway in his step and a rush of black in his vision alerted him, but he was vertical and walking so that too was good enough.
Once he had his bearings, he turned to Seraphim, wearing a genuine smile. “Thanks.” He sighed. “And this time I mean it. It helps to hear you say that.” Her last reassurance especially.
He honestly wanted to use his powers as little as possible now, but as much as he would prefer not to teleport back to the FOB, he prefered less to travel by land. He was going to have to use his powers anyway. Little to do but just suck it up and do it.
“If you don’t have any other plans, I can get us back.” He offered.
